"Hair Salons Raise Stroke Awareness"--headline, Associated Press, Feb. 8

"You brush the hair in a downward stroke, not up into the scalp!"

"Elizabeth Tashjian, 94, an Expert on Nuts, Dies"--headline, New York Times, Feb. 4

Sigmund Freud's sister no doubt.

"113 Nations Blame Man for Climate Change"--headline, Associated Press, Feb. 1

Find that MAN!

"Young Harp Seal Found Shot in Sandwich"--headline, WBZ-TV Web site (Boston), Jan. 31

"I'll have a seal and cheese on rye"

"MN Guardmembers Protect Southern Border"--headline, KSTP-TV Web site (St. Paul, Minn.), Feb. 5

Bubbas not welcome in Minnesota.

"Sheep Moved From Paradise to Wyoming"--headline, Daily Inter Lake (Kalispell, Mont.), Feb. 4

I guess the left is right.  If Wyoming is not paradise, and Cheney is from Wyoming, then he must be from the other place!

"Vow to Quit Acid Use by '15"--headline, Philadelphia Inquirer, Feb. 6

They are starting earlier in Philly!

"Crowd Expected at Dam Meeting"--headline, Tennessean (Nashville), Feb. 6

Finally!  Truth about dam meetings!

"China's Bull Run Too Good to Be True"--headline, MarketWatch.com, Feb. 11

Civil War re-enactments in China?

"Sharks kill four people worldwide in "dull" year" --headline, AOL, Feb 13

I dont think the 4 think it was so dull.

"Woman Tied to Scalia Faces DUI Charge"--headline, Daily Herald (DuPage Count, Ill.), Feb. 14

Was the give away when she tied herself to him?

"DEA: More Marijuana Needed for Studies"--headline, Centre Daily Times (State College, Pa.), Feb. 14

Dont forget the munchies dude!