"Cat Catches Bat, Bat Has Rabies, Bat Put Down"--headline, RadioIowa.com, Aug. 25

Dr. Suess is writing headlines now.

"Nude Teens Raise Eyebrows in Vermont Town"--headline, Reuters, Aug. 24

Bet that is not all she raised.

"Sting Rounds Up 25 Foreigners for Sex Crimes"--headline, WorldNetDaily, Aug. 25

Isn't this taking the name of your Pop group a little too seriously?

"Partial Victory for Morning After Pill"--headline, Detroit Free Press, Aug. 25

Does that mean they are only a little pregnant?

"Annan Tours Devastated South Lebanon"--headline, CNN.com, Aug. 29

You would have thought he would be more compassionate to them after the latest little conflict.

"Man Run Over While Lying on Freeway"--headline, KGTV Web site (San Diego), Aug. 29

Morale, kiddies - always tell the truth!

"US Urges People to Grill Visiting Former Iran President"--headline, Agence France-Presse, Aug. 30

Isn't that taking canibalism a little far?

"ICE Arrests 15 Aliens in Roswell Working for U.S. Military Contractor"--headline, Immigration and Customs Enforcement press release, Aug. 29

And the government is still trying to tell us there is no space ships in roswell.  Uh, huh!

"Parkway to Drivers: Watch Road"--headline, Asheville (N.C.) Citizen-Times, Aug. 31

Talking roads!  WHat next?  Driveways to Drivers: Watch parking?

"Missing Evidence Not Found"--headline, Clarion-Ledger (Jackson, Miss.), Sept. 5

I guess that is why it is called missing?