Debate, and discuss, just dont Bore me.
Published on August 3, 2006 By Dr Guy In Humor

Ok!  I got an Aunt like all of you do.  She sends me "forward this for Poor little Annie" hoaxes all the time.  And jokes that are, to say the least, about as old as I am.  But I read them and talk to her when I can, giving her computer advice "When it says press ANY key, just press one!".

But today, she sent me a joke that I had not seen before and had me rolling.  So without further ado, here is Mrs. T's Joke (yea, she is old enough, she is a Mrs., not a Ms.).

I was in Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina Dog Chow for my two Dalmatians and was in line to check out.

A woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Purina Diet again,
although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last
time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care
ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way
that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply
eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally
complete so I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now
enthralled with my story, particularly a tall guy behind her.

Horrified, she asked if I'd been poisoned and was that why I was in the
hospital.

I said no.....I'd been sitting in the street licking my balls and a car hit
me.

I thought the tall guy was going to have to be carried out the door.


Comments (Page 2)
2 Pages1 2 
on Aug 18, 2006
HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
on Aug 18, 2006
I fell off my chuckle wagon very hard with this one! very funny ......picturing it even funnier!
on Aug 18, 2006

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

It is good to laugh!  I am glad I could bring some to you.

on Aug 18, 2006

I fell off my chuckle wagon very hard with this one! very funny ......picturing it even funnier!

I get so many stale jokes from my family, that when they send a good one, I have to post it!  This one was!

on Aug 18, 2006
Here's an old chestnut that's old as grandma's titty and twice as dusty:

Once upon a time tow guys were walking down the street and observed a dog licking his balls.
"Don't ya wish you could do that? one of 'em said. Then the other one, after thinking a second, replied "yeah, I do. But sure as I did, the son of a bitch would bite me..."
on Aug 18, 2006
#20 by Shovelheat
Fri, August 18, 2006 7:08 PM




Bad dog!
on Feb 22, 2007
the eagle turned on Saddam and Attacked

Saddam was one of our warriors way back
we crowned him a prince

he fucked up and we fucked up
hell everybody was fucking up
it was war & shit never goes the way anyone really wants

son went all mad dog in the end
when we decided
to use the kurds
to take him down

HE HITLERED UP
for security purposes
went to war

saddam's head was so dangerous
the executioner ripped it right off
the crowds screamed and cried
tried to drive his mighty spirit away from the gallows
rightly so trembling in fear
at the horror of his coming wrath

His spirit surprised everyone & no one
with a wave and a tear
he forgave them their place in history
as great men do

as
great men

expect



sorry old soldier left hungry alone in your fox hole

wish i could have told you

we are praying
for you


to all enemies we sing: our hearts are still open
our minds are still free

we were not effected
by they great they's
enchantment spells

we too are sickened
by
the
rotting diseased cloak of these lies







we are coming for you

i am
a man of my word
the word
your word
our word



YOU ARE FORGIVEN

forgive us


We just didn't make it in time saddam
this stoic crusader was still marching silently
through the carnage
seeking rank on missions top secret
waging war from under deep cover
pretending always to go along



waiting

waiting

waitng

for the order

to come down




you know how that is

I

salute

u



we all salute you
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