"Harper Meets With French President Chirac; Gets Condolence Call From Israeli Leader"--headline, Canadian Press, July 19

Even the Israelis dont have any respect for the French.

"Israeli Planes Batter Lebanon Again, Killing 30 People"--headline, New York Times, July 18

They are using creme pies at 20 paces.

"Cruise Ship Back in Port After Hard Roll"--headline, Associated Press, July 18

Some diners are just never satisfied.

"Government Orders 12 New Nimrods"--headline, Daily Mail (London), July 18

As if the government did not have enough nimrods already.

"Washington U. Names Virgin Head of Pathology, Immunology"--headline, St. Louis Business Journal, July 17

That is one person you KNOW did not sleep their way to the top.

"Greek Woman to Give Birth to Own Grandchild"--headline, Agence France-Presse, July 19

Isn't that carrying the Oedipus complex a little too far?

"Mark Steel: Shooting People Is Both Unhealthy and Unsafe"--headline, Independent (London), July 19

I guess they are not using magic bullets then.

"AAA Says Record Gas Price Predictions May or May Not Come True"--headline, Kingsport (Tenn.) Times-News, July 20

People may or may not pay them then I guess.

"Third of Male Fish in River Are Changing Sex"--headline, Daily Mail (London), July 19

"Let's try the Trout Position today honey."

"Pope Confirmed as Homeland Security Chief"--headline, Union Leader (Manchester, N.H.), July 20

What happened to the separation of Church and state?