"Life Sentences Double in 10 Years as Judges Hand Down Longer Terms"--headline, Independent (London), June 24

Do they keep them imprisoned even after death then?

"Newspaper Questions Man Executed in 1983 Slaying"--headline, Associated Press, June 25

Jeanne Dixon served as Medium.

"HIV Drugs Have Given Americans 3 Million Years of Life"--headline, HealthDay.com, June 26

I got to get me some of those drugs!

"Retirees Will Face Dire Straits"--headline, Newhouse News Service, June 23

What?  NO Rolling Stones?

"Red Fox Spotted in Robinson"--headline, WTAE-TV Web site (Pittsburgh), June 26

Elizabeth!  He's not coming!

"How Is Dingo Urine Gathered? Carefully, Study Says"--headline, Reuters, June 27

Dingos hate it when you hold their little weenies.

"Shuttle Crew Faces 1-in-100 Chance of Dying"--headline, CNN.com, June 27

Fly me to the Moon!  I face a 100 in 100 chance of dying!

"Manila Cops Insist on Legitimate Killings"--headline, Manila (Philippines) Standard, June 27

Ok, no more low blows.  We want clean cappings!

"Bush Promotes War, Candidate in Missouri"--headline, Associated Press, June 28

Kansas better watch out.  Quantrill is on the ride again!

"Prosecution Urges Jury to Stop Hiring Machine"--headline, Chicago Sun-Times, June 28

New movement - People before Machines!  Send all the machines back to their home country!