"Afghan Donkey Attack Thwarted"--headline, Globe and Mail (Toronto), June 8

I always knew the tailban were a bunch of jack asses.

"Monkey Trial May Show Possible Way to AIDS Vaccine"--headline, Reuters, June 8

The Scopes trial is going to help with an AIDS vaccine?

"Last Harvard Commencement for Summers"--headline, Associated Press, June 8

Guess they will have to graduate them in the winter now.

"World's Who's Who Hold Secret Talks in Ottawa"--headline, Agence France-Presse, June 9

Then shouldn't they be the Whose Nots?

"Harvard Scientists Join Human Cloning Race"--headline, MSNBC.com, June 6

Cant tell the real ones from the clones any more.

"Outhouse Earns GOP Endorsement"--headline, Citizen (Auburn, N.Y.), June 13

I knew the election was going into the toilet!

"Flight of Young Adults Is Causing Alarm Upstate"--headline, New York Times, June 13

Geese are upset that they dont honk with cutting through.