Ok, if the title got you, I appologize! But Trudy made me do it, But! LOL

No seriously, she wanted to know how I went to 4 proms without going to one before I was a Junior in High School. So I will tell you.

Growing up, I was the pimply faced nothing! I never had a real girl friend until my Junior year. I was that pathetic! But in order to hide my embarrasment and shortcomings, I was very involved with extracurricular activities. But in my Junior year, I had a girl friend!

Her name was Charmin, and the story was she was like PB. Easy to spread! But she was a BWOC and I was a pimply faced creep! After a few months of her dangling me by my nose and me being the faithful doggy, I dropped her as I figured out she was using me to cheat in German class (we lived in Germany BTW).

But in my Endeavors, I made it to the Junior Class council and we worked to raise money for the Prom. Our biggest Fund Raiser was the concessions at the Basketball Tournament (all Europe - American Style) at Rhein Main. We were good that year! We made it to the Championship (I remember that Augsburg, the 7th seed won the B bracket).

But alas we lost to Heidelburg. I was crest fallen. So we cleaned up and packed up and she helped, even tho she was but a sophmore (a 6 foot sophmore! I always went for the taller ladies). So we gave her a ride (the chaperones as driving was illegal in Germany before the age of 18) home. And on the way, we held hands and kissed.

That was my first true love, and I took her to the prom we worked so hard to stage! And it was a great one. EXCEPT! Our theme was Knights in White Satin. Then and always my favorite song. And the band we picked? COULD NOT PLAY IT! ARRRRRGGGGHHHHHH

But military being what it was, she rotated back that summer, and I was not due to for another year. So we tearfully said our goodbyes, and parted.

Senior year, I was lonely, but still hung out with "our crowd". That was the crowd she and I hung out with. IN that crowd was a girl/lady whose BF had rotated back to the states as well. Francis. When Prom time came (and it was a BIG disappointment considering what we had done! Shame on the class of 75!), we decided to go to the prom together as friends. But again, we were not 18, and god forbid a parent take us to our senior prom! Thankfully, my best friend was 18, had his license, so 4 couples (we were all in the same group) crowded into his parents station wagon (why buy a car in Germany when you were going to have to ship it to the states?) and had a great time!

BTW for those just out of the teen years, or those who have them, it is legal in Germany to drink long before the teens. However, none of us thought that meant a good time. Paint us ancient farts.

Ok, so now I am 2 and 2. 2 proms and 2 ladies. 2 more to go.

I managed to get selected to a college right next to where she had rotated back to (WP Dharma, I know you know the place). I went to the Univeristy of Dayton. She was a senior, and we were still in love, or so we thought. SO I took her to her senior Prom. It was nice, but had none of the oomph that either the exravaganza of my Junior prom, or the blah of the senior one (even tho they cheated us, it was still better than this civilian one!). We broke up after that year, NOT because of the prom!

So now 3 proms and 2 ladies. Hmmmmm, I am now a Junior in College. What is a prom?

Then I started dating my first wife. I should have known, but, hey! Like I had a lot of experience?

Anyway, I was a Jr in college and she was a Sr in HS. So I took her to my fourth prom. She was going to an all girls HS. And that was really the lamest of the 4. But it meant 4 proms and 3 ladies! And 1 nerd!

So that is how a real jerk managed to make 4 proms with 3 ladies (2 ladies and a beatch) without knowing what the hell I was doing!

I am a slow learner!

But maybe stupid ways are a break from other stupid ways today.